Take up space

"I feel I am finally taking up space in my own life," she said.

And I thought,

WOW!

That says so much about what healing is all about, what life is all about. Sometimes, words just land don't they? They mean something. And those words, said in a session with a client, did it for me.

I was also SO SO proud of her - of the work she has put into healing. It was a magical moment for us both to share.

So that's going to be the focus here (and don't worry she knows I have borrowed her beautiful words).

Take up space in your own life

I wonder what this phrase means to you? Can you sit with it for a moment and notice what is stirred in your body, in your mind, in your imagination?

Is there a resistance? It is hard to feel ok with it? Do you notice you move away from it quickly, your attention distracted elsewhere.

Does energy start to rise - can you feel it in your body?

Do you instinctively move and shift? Perhaps your posture changes.

What images form? What would it look like to take up more space in your life?

What might need to shift, shed or fall away so that there is more space for you to expand? To expand and more fully occupy your own life?

Do you notice any beliefs or judgements around this? What words come up? Does it feel creative, exciting or healing? Or are you noticing "selfish", "lost" or something else enter?

When I think about taking up space in my own life I notice how much more possible this feels now. And how I see it positively now rather than feeling it would be unwanted, too much or risky.

What's changed?

I think self-acceptance is a major part of it. Knowing who you are - the dark and the light, the strengths and the struggles and having a regular practice around affirming the multi-faceted truth of self. I like to call this Claiming You - like, "I claim my inner critic and I claim my wisdom." That kind of thing.

This is something I know comes more easily now. But it is still work, a practice. And it is MUCH harder on some days and easier on others.

I know it has come from a lot of therapy! To understand why I am as I am. To make sense of myself.

And these things have guided me to know what I need and what I love in life - what matters to me, what's meaningful. The big picture but also the daily or weekly practices which keep me well; meditation, breathwork, going slow when my anxious brain might tell me to go faster. I try to own my choices, to create a life which I feel I fully occupy.

And my work and training - which has helped me to see what most humans need to be well. The ways we are all similar. I think most of us know some of this instinctively - what would you advise to someone you love? What would your written prescription for wellbeing contain? And do you live in that way yourself?

To take up space is to embody, "I matter. I have a voice. I have worth. I am safe to be seen."

It's the felt equivalent of being in a yoga star pose - arms up and outward stretched. Legs planted wide and strong. Upright back. Open hearted and open-armed, taking up space. Being fully me. Being grounded in myself, yet open to experience.

This is everything. What a way to be!

I am so happy my wonderful client found those words. And that she had some time in this experience and knows now that it is available to her - not always but inside her nonetheless.

I don't expect to feel like this everyday. I mean, of course I would love to! It's been a LOOOONG process- self-acceptance hasn't come easy. And it's not neat or consistent. It's messy and human. There are huge bumps in the road, life happens, my brain chatter gets me. My inner critic is at best only ever in hibernation.

But I can see that this is what true personal power feels like. And it is worth aiming for and resetting towards.

What would it mean to you to take up more space in your life?

I'd love to know.