The process of healing

Your inner Spring

I had a day in Glastonbury for the first time ever a month ago.

It was on the first day of Spring, the Spring Equinox. A day of heralding in the new season - the end of Winter and the start of new growth and new life. Longer days, nest building, warmer air, longer days, green shoots, early buds...

God, we all needed it didn't we? Winter felt so long.

Spring has been a time of celebration for these reasons for thousands of years. It is deeply connected to growth and new life, cycles of the seasons but also fertility, creativity and the endless rhythms of death and birth and of decay and new life. I'm not getting too hippy - bear with me - it's also all true right?

I went with my writing group - all female authors, writing a mix of non-fiction and fiction. Some I knew and others were new to me. There was a meditation at the Chalice Well spring (an ancient spring and site of many visits of faith and reflection). It started at noon and was focused on the theme of Spring and a hope for peace. I stood under a tree in a patch of sunshine, with strangers crowded into this garden. It was quite magical really, a chance to be still in nature. A chance to contemplate and feel connected to nature and humanity on a special day, an ancient day and also a new day of a new season.

And as I do, I stood thinking of my work, of my clients, of what I learn and what matters in life and about what's going on in my life too.

At some point during the meditation, the person leading it said:

"And on this day of the Spring Equinox, the first day of Spring, when the hours of darkness and light are equal...."

And this statement, clicked something big in my brain.

You see, often in therapy, clients tell me they feel stuck. And that they feel frustrated with themselves about it, self-critical even.

The tell me they feel in a kind of limbo - still in the familiar but damaging old ways and patterns but with new awareness of what truly healthy ways of being are.

There's a feeling of being half emerged and then caught there, in the in-between of growth.

Not just the bud with all the growth held inside.

Not yet emerging into the flower and the bloom.

Perhaps there's been change but it seems either stalled or just so much work to continue.

They know they can't go back.

But they can't yet move forward.

It's hard being here in this place.

And the new growth can feel super sensitive and fragile.

Standing in that moment, I felt some clarity arrive.

We all move in these phases and they repeat too. Some cycles of change are huge and I think of the years I have spent in therapy. Other cycles seem swifter - a month of feeling lost, a week of struggle, days of the internal critic...

If you feel stuck - please know that this is also truthfully the experience of your own internal Spring - just as you might notice the activity of the natural world; the growth, the effort, the beauty. The air rich with scents. Colours surround. Animals, plants and birds are active. Spring is a time of growth. Woods come alive with vibrant green leaves and the soft colours of buds just beginning to bloom. The air is fresh and fragrant, carrying hints of renewal, of fresh possibility.

Everyone loves Spring.

But let's remember that Spring can also include equal measures of the dark and the light.

Of old ways constraining the new - the bud case around the emerging bloom.

Of trusting in the natural process of growth and change - that the right conditions (light, soil rain... self acceptance, supportive actions) will promote the process. But it will just unfold...you need to trust and value the limbo.

That it is work and effort - building nests, new shoots rising. Of choices and attending to your healing,.

That when you are in limbo and you feel stuck. To turn to nature and remember, you are also emerging. In your own inner Spring, you are the emerging bloom.

The emerging always includes the dark.

The limbo is also the light.

Here's a link to the post I wrote when I came back, in case this has resonated with you and you'd like to read more. The slides include further thoughts.

And as always,

Sending love x