Space to feel good

I have been thinking about a word which has come up a lot through client sessions and conversations. And that word is:

Space

A lot of people are feeling like they don’t have enough of it. And that this feels like rushing, disconnect, stress and overwhelm. Perhaps not having a moment to tune into how they feel and a life out of balance with the needs of others always being the priority.

Others are telling me about how it feels to have too much space – to feel life is empty, lonely, lacking in identity, value or purpose, not enough connection and contact.

Many more besides feel some combination of the two. As we know, it is entirely possible to feel alone while being surrounded by noise and people. To be stressed but feel little meaning.

Like Goldilocks, are we trying to find an experience of space which is “just right”? Not too much and not too little…

And why does having space matter?

And what can it bring when we are wanting to feel good in life?

That’s the focus here.

Like every new season, we feel Autumn arriving as both the end of one part of the year and the start of another. Each shift can create a moment to start-over, reset and consider our hopes and priorities. But more than others, Autumn has the vibe of letting go and of opening up space. Yes Summer holds the trophy for long days, but Autumn is literally clearing out the old. It might feel like decay, as the leaves start to turn and fall, but it is making way for the total withdrawal of Winter which is needed before the new growth can come. It’s clearing out, opening up for growth.

And we know Autumn holds its own lightness – golden sun, beautiful leaves, chances to cosy up. I remember walking locally (Caesar’s Camp) in Autumn and watching deer run across glowing bracken and under rusty trees. It felt expansive, a special Autumn glow and moment.

So, with this in mind let’s talk about space.

Space feels like lightness.

Room to move.

Quiet enough to listen in and hear.

Good space doesn’t feel isolating – there are boundaries - not limiting but not enough to feel held and safe.

Space arrives after we clear out.

Space is room to grow.

How in our lives can we find a space which feels good?

Here are my thoughts…

We can seek out space in the in-between...

...of tasks or jobs. Like mortar around bricks in the wall – moments of space can be found. We can all lose 20 minutes to social media or an hour watching a programme as filler. There is space if we are honest. Even if it is sat in the car at the end of the day.

Space can be found when we release physical tension.

We can have free time but feel restless and unable to just be – moving your body, stretching, after yoga, a massage (by yourself counts), meditation or breathwork. You might also use somatic movements (tapping, shaking, sweeping) to move energy out and find more peace and internal space.

An emotional release can free up room inside-

a big cry, talking something out, journaling, shouting into a pillow or singing along wildly to the radio. After the storm there comes calm.

Space opens up in mindfulness –

yes perhaps in a guided exercise but a slow mindful walk in the woods can deliver. The space afforded by being by the sea works wonders.

Space can be found inside us. And I think this is often overlooked.

When we can create a little space, what do we do with it?

This week something came through for me. Yes, in space we might notice what needs healing or reflect on choices, patterns or behaviours. Space might allow us to focus on what hurts or feels painful and understand what we need to heal.

But releasing tension can open up room for joy and pleasure. Sometimes we might be able to roll our eyes and laugh at ourselves. In space we can observe ourselves – our quirks, maybe we can even call ourselves out on some shit, I know I can be ridiculous.

Believe me, I take healing seriously. I would never EVER laugh at someone in pain. But I tried out turning the volume up on my inner critic the other day… making it the meanest villain, the most toxic b!tch in the room. It was like Cruella de Ville in my head. It made me laugh. It shifted things.

Humour and lightness is healing. Shaking ourselves out of a fixed state – literally (jumping about) or a wry eye roll and giggle – can both create a shift.

We can work on pain.

Can we also wiggle the rigid?

You might find space by literally clearing out your environment. Cupboards, drawers, wardrobes…a declutter can shift mood.

You might find space by having a yell, a dance, breathing deeply, walking by a lake.

Or by lying on your bed and allowing the peace of a meditation to take you there.

However you find space (and I really hope that you know you need it….and need to carve it out), I invite you to bring a lightness of spirit to it. How about inviting into the space support, play, pleasure, fun, laughter, dance, silliness, childish, wonder?

Is there a spark of energy you can follow towards what feels good? We tell ourselves what we enjoy but often our body is a better guide.

And if, in your space, you can’t feel a spark perhaps this is leading you towards rest and peace. To fall as the leaves do, softly and gently to the ground.

To lie. To be.

There is transformation in following joy.

Just as there is transformation in rest and nurture.

Our world will never offer you the space to learn what these feel like (or look like) to you. It will never hand you time. So search out some space, so you can define them for yourself.