The vulnerability of standing tall

It's edgy to claim not just the struggles in me but the strengths.

I know I feel as vulnerable with the parts of my book which detail my own past mental health issues, and dark days of last year, as I do with the parts where I am calling for change, where I am expressing my opinion about how we can all be more accountable for the world we cocreate. When I am standing tall, showing the way, sharing my wisdom.

And I wonder what you might appreciate in yourself. Or what values and views you hold as dear.

And how comfortable you are to own these parts and talk about them. To make your strengths visible.

To stand tall with pride. And discomfort.

Showing up, being visible

I'm getting to the point where the idea of my book being out in the world is becoming more of a reality. I am hoping to get a first draft out to a couple of people for a read & review at the start of the summer holidays. The vision of getting it published and into people's hands (strangers, friends and family too) is entering my field of awareness.

[Side note: if any of you happen to be publishers then please do say hi!]

Gulp.

And here you are too - someone who have chosen to step closer, to hear more from me. So you are part of that imagined world too. I want to start sharing more, readying to be a published author, a regular podcaster, a speaker...hell, why not own it...a leader in the field of emotional wellbeing.

Gulp again.

So here I go, telling you more about my book and my vision.

I would love to get your feedback on any of this. You can get in touch here emily@emilymccoyshares.co.uk

My Book

A title is emerging but for now, let's keep it simple and call it My Book. I came to write it because I wanted to share lessons out of therapy to a wider audience. But as I wrote it, I got clearer about a few things:

It's not just a list of concepts and ideas...

It's a model for healing, growth and living with emotional wellbeing.

It's a path.

It's an approach.

And this looks like an evolution of therapy.

Perhaps a model I could train other therapists in...?

Definitely a model I can offer alongside therapy - similar but meaningfully different because it has steps, guidance and specifics. It's not totally client-led, it's more structured, it's me showing the way. A different kind of partnership.

So the book sets out a new way of working for me and maybe for other professionals.

It's a call to action beyond inner work...

It acknowledges that so much emotional struggle is generated by the world we live in a world which we also all maintain, create and support: through our consumption, our choices, our language, our judgements.

It recognises that our individual wellbeing and our collective wellbeing are interconnected and it asks the reader to claim their power and use it to shape our world towards health.

It breaks down and redefines concepts like success and professional

To reduce shame and isolation and to encourage us all to share our multifaceted humanity.

And I do that by sharing my own struggles - the impact of my own childhood on my mental health, the healing I still do, the approaches I use.

My book has 4 parts.

Part 1 - Me

A pretty gritty account of last year when my best friend was dying and I hit a wall in my own mental health.

Part 2 - Claim You

A methodology to help you make sense of yourself, to understand what you individually need to live with ease and self-acceptance, ideas to reduce shame which have come out of my years as a therapist, including:

Shitty Factory Resets

Your Emotions Hold Logic

Sit Down With Yourself

Your Velvet Prison

Part 3 - Claim Your Life

What we all need to live with emotional health. Themes to help you feel more empowered and informed to take action. My 7 Truths for Living Well are:

1. Community and connection

2. Rest, regulation and stillness

3. Be the caretaker of your body

4. Connect to nature

5. A sense of purpose

6. Lightness and play

7. Safe, secure and self-soothed

Part 4 - Claim Your Power

The impact you can make in the world - a call to action, an argument for change in how we all live. The need for us to consider more than ourselves and to see how our emotional misery is driving problems in our society and world. Ideas on how to do this.

Through the book there are exercises and questions to support reflection and your growth. It is human, it's accessible. It's 100% grounded in every bit of healing I have had to do myself. And every bit of healing I have helped my clients find in nearly 8000 counselling sessions.

Gulp

It feels ambitious. And I quietly hold such big hopes for the change it could create out in people's lives...and in our world.

And saying that out loud doesn't feel that awesome. It feels vulnerable!

If you would like to get more of a sense of my book then you can listen to me talking about some of the ideas in it on a podcast called Soul Confetti hosted by the lovely Carrie (one of the writers in the collective I am member of) - available via Spotify, Audible and weblinks here:

​Audible​

​Spotify​

​Web​

So that's me, that's my book.

That's me holding space for my role as messy human, still healing, always sensitive. And my hopes to become a published author, a leader of change, an evolver of therapy.

It feels edgy. It feels very real.

And I wonder, what secret hopes you hold in yourself? And what qualities are you proud of in yourself and how would it feel to let them be seen and celebrated and create change in the world?

Funny how hard the good stuff can be.